Brooks Koepka Is Back And Stuck With The World’s No. 1,929

You’ll  have to excuse Brooks Koepka if he’s got golf’s version of cabin fever.

The reigning U.S. Open champion has been away from golf or 15 long weeks, laid off by a bad wrist, a bad tendon to be more exact that has left him longing for this week.

He’s back in the team competition in the Big Easy although he’s not exactly partnered with a world-beater by any means.

This is a real head-scratcher.  We’re talking about his pairing with one Marc Turnesa, who basically can’t break an egg, much less par.  He’s a total violator of the PGA Tour’s new ad campaign that urges everyone to   “Live Under Par”  as far as what the tour believes it means.

What the tour didn’t realize is that the term “Under Par” basically means you’re sick, not feeling well, under the weather — you get the picture.

Turnesa’s lives up quite well when it comes to the actual meaning.

This cat has no status anywhere.  He flunked off the Web.com Tour.  You’d think that they could find some young stud from the Web.com who’d love to collect a nice paycheck with Brooksie this week.

But no, he’s got Turnesa, who has collected a whopping $9,505 this year.  Look back on his 2017 on the Web.com and you’ll find 12 missed cuts, a WD, one top 40.

Did we mention that Turnesa is ranked No. 1,929 in the world?

Koepka is ranked No. 9 so if you average them you’ve got 969.  Ouch!

You’re probably wondering how this pairing came to be.

So are we.

Did they put something on Craig’s List:

Wanted: A professional or someone resembling a professional golfer to play for $1 million first place money (each) in a fancy team event.  Must have their own clubs and shoes.  Must have reasonable knowledge of the Rules of Golf.  Please apply at:  stiffswanted@PGATour.com.

Check around and they might give the excuse that Koepka was a late entry.  No big deal, simply call the kid who finished fifth last week in San Antonio — 19-year-old Joaquin Niemann.  Kid’s got game and showed it.  Heck, he’d probably end up carrying Brooks, who certainly has to be rusty as all get-out.  After his first PGA Tour event, the kid went from 1,543 in the world rankings to 640.

How about Trey Mullinax?  Guy finished second, bombs it.

How about anybody but a guy ranked 1,929?

To Turnesa’s credit, he did win on the tour 10 years ago in Las Vegas, thus he’s considered “past champion” which is a mild form of status even though his game is farther from current tour standards than Earth is from Saturn.  Also to Turnesa’s credit, he went out and got a real estate license.  Good move, one sale can make him a lot more than $9,505.

Doesn’t matter, he’s in and he better be ready to help Koepka.

Koepka only started hitting golf balls two weeks ago.  So expecting anything big from him is a total stretch at best.

This event has blossomed, really.  The younger players have gotten into it,  probably as a warm-up for Ryder Cup competition and for those who aspire to a future Ryder Cup squad, this puts something on their resume.

Jordan Spieth’s there, so is Justin Thomas, so is Jon Rahm.  So is Justin Rose, Henrik Stenson as well.  So is Masters champ Patrick Reed.

And ninth-ranked Koepka is back.

Can’t wait, can’t wait to see No. 1,929.

Best of luck to Marc Turnesa.

It’s obvious he hasn’t had any in years.