Half baked cookies in the oven,
Half baked people on the bus,
There’s a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us!
— Jimmy Buffett “Fruitcakes”
It’s as though someone dropped a giant fruitcake tin, about 180 pounds worth, in the office of PGA Tour Commissioner Tim Finchem.
It was no ordinary Christmas fruitcake — out popped Bubba Watson.
Finally, we’ve figured Bubba out. He is the absolute, unchallenged “fruitcake” of the PGA Tour.
Need evidence?
Bubba seems to be the only guy who is making it up as he goes, everything from his golf swing to what he tells the media.
The first piece of Fruitcake-ism out of Bubba is that he plans to retire after 10 victories on the PGA Tour.
Yeah, they hit him with that on Sunday after he won the Hero World Challenge. Bubba amended things on the spot. “It doesn’t count,” he told everyone. “I mean 10 U.S. victories.”
Well, if that’s the case, Bubba is closer to retirement than we thought. The world’s number four has eight official wins and that means two good weeks this season could send him riding off into the golf sunset.
Ten wins? That was two mediocre seasons for Tiger Woods back in the day.
Fruitcake.
No one north of the equator is buying that, probably Bubba included. You see, this is Bubba and out of nowhere, he’ll pull something out of mid-air, throw it up against the wall of the respective press room and see how writers react.
Sure Bubba.
He came out with another one on Sunday, and this one had Aunt Irma’s fruitcake written all over it:
“If I ever become No. 1 in the world, I’m walking away. I’m going to walk away on top.”
Sure Bubba, how long did it take you to dream that up?
This guy must think we’re all a bunch of fruitcakes if he expects us to believe that.
No chance of that happening any time soon. Jordan Spieth, Jason Day and Rory McIlroy are building a wall that starts and stops at No. 3.
What will Watson come up with next?
Bubba Watson’s net worth is pushing $30 million.
He’s off to Bankok, Thailand this week to play in the Thailand Golf Championship. Wonder if that’s on his retirement “bucket list” or is it the probable $300,000 appearance fee?
It certainly isn’t the Thai fruitcakes.
Who knows what gems of golf wisdom Bubba will come up with in Bangkok.
Last week in the Bahamas he told his caddie that the golf course there was really, really hard, maybe too hard for him.
Seriously?
With five par fives it was Bubba’s meat, cooked, carved and served up to him on a tray and he promptly shot 25-under par and walked away with $1 million.
Really hard, wasn’t it, eh Bubba?
So this holiday season when your Aunt Gladys send you a fruitcake from Omaha, pop open the can, cut a slice and think about Bubba Watson.
Fruitcake, anyone?
7 Comments
ronald
BUBBA IS WHAT THE PGA TOUR NEEDS-HE KEEPS IT LIVELY AND CAN HIT SHOTS NO-ONE ELSE CAN OR TRYS
FRUITCAKES ARE EVERYWHERE AND I WOULD LOVE TO BE A BUBBA FRUITCASE THAN A CAPT RON FRUITCAKE WITH A 3 HDCP AND NO 30 MILLION
AS THEY SAT-IT,S NICE BEING BUBBA WATSON
KUDDOS TO HIM AND KEEP IT UP
cousinvinny
Great Christmas metaphor..fruitcake is made up of many ingredients…just like Bubba’s personality …but the brandy is what brings it all together…maybe Bubba is snifting it?
Robert Ward
My advice to the golfing media. “Let Bubba be Bubba” that way, we can all enjoy the fantastic shot making. He is a credit to the game. I wish him well.
Wilson
Well it worked. He got the Fruitcake Press talking and writing. Good going Bubba!! Change your rules whenever you want….. they do.
Jim
I think Bubba is great. In regards to the comment about his attitude, as a former competitive golfer, I can say that when you’re in the zone under pressure like that your personality changes. Keep it up Bubba. You’re good for the game.
Chuck Hinners
Bubba is………BUBBACIOUS!
Pabs
Bubba promised earlier this year to try to be a better person. His demeanor on and off the course leave a great deal to be desired, especially for a guy with a strong commitment to his faith.