Christmas is coming, the geese are getting fat, please put something in your favorite golfer’s hat!
It’s the most wonderful time of the year and today’s task will be to come up with some gifts for the world’s most high-profile players, a tough task, considering they all can write a check for whatever they want…….almost.
So here we go:
JASON DAY: Sure he’s the world’s No. 1, but what he needs most is a totally healthy body.
RORY MCILROY: This one’s easy. A Green Jacket to complete the career Grand Slam.
DUSTIN JOHNSON: Another major so that trophy count will start catching up to his talent level.
HENRIK STENSON: Two good knees and an accurate driver.
JORDAN SPIETH: His lost accuracy with his irons and more drives in the fairway. He lost both in 2016. And how about a par at the 12th hole at The Masters on Sunday?
HIDEKI MATSUYAMA: A major championship. If that happens, he might have to quit golf because they would make him Emperor of Japan.
ADAM SCOTT: A putting stroke that’s as good as his golf swing.
PATRICK REED: A copy of “How To Win Friends And Influence People.”
ALEX NOREN: A victory on the PGA Tour.
BUBBA WATSON: A spot on the next U.S. Ryder Cup team so he can stop telling us how great it is to be an assistant captain.
But wait, we’re not finished yet!
TIGER WOODS: What can you give the guy who seemingly has everything? How about a replica of Superman’s “Fortress Of Solitude” so he can go there when he wants to get away from everyone, which is quite often.
PHIL MICKELSON: How about his own book-making operation over in the U.K. where it’s all legal? That’s right up Lefty’s alley and he might just retire from golf because he’d have so much fun running it.
LEXI THOMPSON: A putting stroke to go with her impressive long game. That would yield the wins she desperately needs.
MICHELLE WIE: One totally healthy season and a decent putting stroke.
STACY LEWIS: A comeback.
SHANSHAN FENG: This one’s easy for the golfer who loves expensive handbags — her own Coach store.
ARIYA JUTANUGARN: A driver that works for her. That would spell real trouble for the rest of the LPGA Tour.
LYDIA KO: A spot as guest host of “The Celebrity Apprentice” so that she can fire everyone!
Have we left anyone out?
Yes, what about a couple of the old guys?
JOHN DALY: A victory on the Champions Tour so that it won’t be so embarrassing for the Golf Channel featuring him in all the ads for the Champions Tour.
BERNHARD LANGER: World domination?
Here’s one you might not expect:
HAROLD VARNER III: A PGA Tour victory (hey, someone’s gotta take care of a fellow ECU Pirate!)
And finally, last but certainly not least:
RICKIE FOWLER: This one’s tough, Rickie’s got the huge new house on the water, he’s got more clothes than a shopping mall, he knows how to throw a birthday party, this one’s a real head-scratcher. How about a spot back in the Top 10 of the Official World Golf Rankings? Or, something better yet — a major championship. Could you imagine the party Rickie would throw for that?
At any rate, this is simply a time of the year to forget about gifts, presents and all that stuff and think about the great things that we can all enjoy — family, friends, a shared beverage, peace, joy, hope and the God’s gift to the world — His Son.
Merry Christmas to all and to all the love, hope and joy that goes with it.
