Mis-Match: Brooks (Koepka) Buries Birdie-less Bryson (DeChambeau)

What a waste.

What a waste of television time, what a waste of three or four hours of your life if you were the least bit inclined to tune in to the Laugher In Las Vegas, aka The Match.

What transpired last Friday, the day after Thanksgiving was akin to very, very cold leftovers but that’s an insult to cold leftovers.

The much-hyped Fifth Edition of The Match, can now be referred to as “The Mis-Match.”

In case you missed it, you’re one of the lucky ones.  This 12-hole exercise in green-grass boredom was no contest.  If it was a boxing match, they might have stopped it after surly Brooks Koepka went birdie-birdie on the fifth and six holes to put putting-challenged Bryson three down after just six holes — which was basically the halfway point of this total mis-match.

Brooks was three-up through six after drawing first blood with a nifty 12-footer for birdie at the par four second, where Bryson missed his second straight green.

At the par four eighth, Brooks stuck his approach to four feet, about three feet inside Bryson — who once again missed his birdie effort, making it all to easy for Brooks to go four-up after eight and zing analyst Phil Mickelson — “Phil — how do you feel about your prediction?”  Evidently Phil, in a total lapse of judgement, somehow picked Bryson to win this one.

At the ninth, Bryson missed a birdie putt from seven feet and conceded the match.  Some are saying it was 4-and-3 for the score, since Bryson missed his par putt and conceded that birdie to Brooks, officially it should have read:  5-and-3.

It was five birdies for Brooks — zero for Bryson.  It made the final three holes an exercise in futility as they played for some side challenges that sent money and meals to the Feeding America charity.

A cordial handshake ended the proceedings with spunky Amada Balionis asking Brooks:  “Did we just become best friends?”  To which Koepka gave a quick, “NO!”

There wasn’t much trash-talking in this one.  Most of the blathering came from Mickelson and sidekick Charles Barkley.

Toward the end, as Bryson saw he was getting run out of Vegas by Koepka, he queried of Brooks:  “Where is this on the PGA Tour man?  You’re playing so good right now.”

“It’s kind of like my major right now,” Koepka answered.

To the horror of TBS, TNT and truTV, there were nothing but kind words.  Brooks had never played with Bryson and, like everyone else on the planet, was impressed by Bryson’s ball speeds.  “Obviously, watching him up close and personal is pretty neat, pretty special to watch him hit the ball,” Koepka told Balionis afterward.  “Like I said, there is respect there, but at the same time it was fun to come out here and settle this.”

Same from Bryson.  I’ve always had respect for Brooks,” DeChambeau said. “He’s won four major championships and what he’s done for the game — and at the end of the day it was 12 holes and he got me. So, hopefully, there will be a rematch sometime soon.”

Hopefully not, Bryson.

This one was no contest.  You pointed out several times that you hadn’t played since the Ryder Cup.  That’s your fault.  At least Brooks came prepared and gave DeChambeau on helluva public spanking.

So no, no rematch, please.

Once between these two was quite enough.

Or how about this — the two should put up $1 million each as a side-bet this week at Tiger Woods’ Hero World Challenge — low 72 holes score takes it all.

Yeah, that would mean something.