Sorry there Little Scotty Cameron Newport 2.
Sorry there little fella. Tiger Woods obviously has a short memory.
Surely he’s forgotten all those clutch putts you made on the way to 13, yes, 13 major championships. The “other” was with one of those dastardly Nike knockoffs — a copy of you, it looked a lot like you but it wasn’t.
So there was everyone’s favorite 14-time major champion on the prowl again, this time at the tournament he was supposed to make into one of the great stops on the PGA Tour.
There was Tiger Woods, cheating again, out there in the public eye, for everyone to see. Cheating on that Little Scotty Cameron Newport 2 with the fancy new girl in town.
She’s a beauty, all polished with wings behind the heel and toe. Take away the shaft and this Ardmore 3 looks like something Batman might pull out of his famous utility belt.
She’s new, she’s shiny, for sure. But was this the missing piece of the Tiger Woods puzzle?
So far this season Woods found himself ranked 89th in strokes gained putting and 118th in total putting. Ugh-lee!
So whose to blame for that?
Little Scotty, of course.
He was sidelined, unceremoniously while his guy went out Thursday afternoon with the new girl. No sneaking around with this one. There she was, in his hands for everyone to see.
So this first round at The National had a lot of pre-game buzz. Many were calling this thing with the bat-wings a “mallet” putter. Doesn’t look like any mallet that Otey Crisman made with his hands. Now those were mallets!
No, there was Eldrick, out there with a space-age beauty that some made Taylor Made scientist dreamed up.
Results were mixed at best.
The tally will read 29 putts and two birdies to be exact. One came at the 302-yard par four 14th where everybody and his brother was smashing it up there close to or on the green. Tiger came up just short with three woods then pitched to three feet. He could have made that one with a putter stolen from a putt-putt course and you know what those things look like.
The new girl missed at 15 from just nine feet. The old Tiger and Little Scotty could make those with Woods’ eyes closed.
He did make his second and last birdie from inside nine feet at the 16th. Wow.
And that was it. Two birdies. All those folks came out to see two birdies that offset a driver-caused double-bogey at the sixth. All total — 70, even par — tied for 48th.
This was supposed to be a weak field, one where Tiger might win, actually.
A quick glance at the scoreboard shows us “weaklings” like Andrew Landry shot 63, though Landry is a tour winner earlier this year at the Texas Open.
Another “weakling” A.J. Spaun, spawned an afternoon 63, contradicting Tiger’s claim that the low scores were shot in the morning.
A bunch of weaklings out-played and out-putted Woods on this day. But that’s pretty much the way its been lately.
After missing the cut at the U.S. Open Woods fell prey to the folks at Taylor Made who began parading their “new technology” claims in front of him.
So Woods had the new “Bat-Girl” putter but he’s also been eyeballing the Spider model as well. Oh that Tiger and his wandering eyes.
As for “Bat-Girl” — Woods says he’s “very committed.”
Why?
“The technology,” he said.
Oh that shifty technology.
In the meantime, poor Little Scotty is back at home, alone re-playing those big putts in all those majors.
Where’s the love?
