New year, new season, golf is good.
It’s good because there’s a boat-load of young talent on the horizon and Tiger Woods is still alive and kicking quite well — thank-you.
The new decade is here and perhaps, maybe, this could be the Roaring 20s for professional golf.
Yes, the just-turned 44 Tiger is long in the tooth but when he’s feeling it, he’s still, arguably, the best player in the game and by far the best tactician.
It’s time to pull out the old Crystal Ball, or the wish-list, if you will and take a look at things we’d love to see happen in 2020.
So let’s get right to it.
Rory McIlroy: Rory gets the monkey off his back at Augusta National and wins The Masters, completing the career Grand Slam and when he’s hanging out with close friends and enjoying a cold beverage, basically tells them where Brooks Koepka can stick it.
Rory goes on to reclaim the No. 1 spot in the world and doesn’t need to tell Koepka where to stick it.
Tiger Woods: Tiger wins the PGA Championship in May at historic Harding Park in San Francisco. El Tigre is originally a California kid but he’s grown up and now votes Republican. Tiger notches Major No. 16 and win No. 83 to take over as the PGA Tour’s all-time leading winner. Unlike 2019, Tiger doesn’t spend the next three months relishing over a major victory. He contends at the U.S. Open and the Open Championship.
Justin Thomas: J.T. takes the U.S. Open Championship at Winged Foot. J.T. believes he should have more than one major championship on his resume so he goes out and does something about it.
Rickie Fowler: Rickie wins the Open Championship at Royal St. Georges in England. The Scots mope over Rickie not getting his first major in Scotland. The world goes nuts because everyone loves Rickie and Rickie has to turn down 300 party invitations over the following three months but spends plenty of time drinking adult beverages from the Claret Jug.
Rory, Tiger, J.T. and Rickie team up to shut out Brooks Koepka in the major championships. Koepka goes home and pouts and blames it all on his sore knee and decides to have surgery and ends his season after the Open Championship. The rest of the PGA Tour players chip in and send 300 pounds of humble pie to Koepka’s house.
Bryson DeChambeau continues his quest to add more weight to his body. He bulks all the way up to 300 pounds, discovers he’s too big to play golf and finds work as a defensive lineman for the Buffalo Bills.
J.B. Holmes continues his slow play routine. With DeChambeau in Buffalo, all eyes are on J.B. He takes eight hours to play a practice round at The Players.
The PGA Tour decides it will finally do something about pace of play. It will issue a warning for a bad time then a one-shot penalty for a second bad time then a two-shot penalty for a third bad time. J.B. Holmes gets a 10-shot penalty and quits the game.
Dustin Johnson finally marries Paulina Gretzky and proves to the world that he’s not an under-achiever.
Patrick Reed moves more sand in a deep pot bunker during the 2019 Open Championship but the riveted bunker is so deep, no one sees him. It takes him three shots to get out but he’s a happy camper because he cheated once again and got away with no penalty shots.
The PGA Tour actually lives up to its 501-C-3 status and donates $300 million out of its own coffers to charity. (Yeah, good luck with that one).
And finally:
The U.S. Ryder Cup team and the Europeans fight to a deadlock tie in Wisconsin. Steve Stricker goes into hiding and Tiger Woods volunteers to be the next Player/Captain for the 2022 Ryder Cup.
Happy New Year — may all your birdie putts fall dead-center into the cup!
