Was hoping this would turn out to be one of those marvelous “Fake News” stories.
Sadly, that doesn’t seem to be the case.
The gathered scribes cornered our favorite compulsive gambler after one of his rounds at The Greenbrier this week and Las Vegas Lefty — aka Phil Mickelson, sort of stumbled and mumbled something to the effect that there may actually be a $10 million television match between him and his old pal Eldrick Woods.
Lefty’s response: “I don’t know what else to add to that. The report was accurate, but I don’t know what else to say.”
When pressed as to when it might happen, Mickelson, still stumbling added: “I’m sure as soon as we know more, we’ll fill you in. But right now, I don’t have much more to add to it.”
Wow, isn’t that exciting? We’ll have 48-year-old Last Vegas Lefty versus the 42-year-old “I’m very close” Tiger Woods.
Earlier last week it was Golf.com leaking all of this, perhaps because some little bird was whispering in someone’s ear: “Hey, they’re gonna play for $10 million!”
Our immediate response to all of this is:
Isn’t this impending match between Tiger and Lefty coming about 15 years too late?
Do we love to live that much in the past?
World No. 20 Mickelson against world No. 67?
What was even more entertaining was that “the report” told everyone that this fiasco was scheduled to be played in Las Vegas last week, July 3 to be exact. Which makes us wonder out loud why the hell anyone would want to play golf in Las Vegas this time of year when the “feels-like” temperature is around 200 degrees.
Obviously is didn’t happen last week so now everyone’s wondering when it will happen.
With the Open Championship in two weeks then the PGA in August then the playoffs coming up faster than you think, then the Ryder Cup, well, it doesn’t look like there’s any time in the near future where this would work.
Now for the money.
TEN MILLION DOLLARS? Who is putting this money up? Seriously.
You might recall that Woods squared off against then world’s No. 2 David Duval back in 1999. One versus two. Okay, we were down with that — The Showdown at Sherwood. Purse was $1.5 million, Tiger won and collected a million. No problem. Sorry Duvie.
You also have to wonder if you want the favorite Pigeon of America’s bookies — and that would be our pal Phil — involved in a head-to-head match where he could control the outcome.
Can you imagine this conversation, fictional of course for today’s purposes, between Mickelson and his imprisoned pal Billy Walters, former King of all Oddsmakers:
PM: “Hey Billy, Phil here.”
BW: “What the hell to you want, haven’t you caused me enough grief?”
PM: “Look Billy, I want to make it all up to you.”
BW: “What are you talking about?”
PM: “I’m going to play Tiger for $10 million.”
BW: “I’m listening.”
PM: “How about I make sure Tiger wins, you bet $10 million on him, whatever the odds and you clean up.”
BW: “I don’t have $10 million sitting around these days thanks to you.”
PM: “Billy, I’ll spot you the money in an offshore account — no one will ever know.”
BW: “Let me get back to you.”
Okay, so you have Lefty involved in what they’re telling us is a “winner-take-all” match with Woods.
Let’s see, a guy with proven connections to a convicted felon in a $10 million match?
Boy, doesn’t that sound interesting?
What would make it totally plausible would be for Tiger and Phil to put up their own money.
That would make this REALLY interesting.