Tiger Woods Sidesteps The Hot Mess That Is Saudi Arabia

Tiger Woods is a ghost when it comes to political opinion.

Some New York pen and mic types tried, unsuccessfully, to talk about his feelings on President Donald Trump earlier this year.

Woods is avoiding some new controversy as well.  Not even $3.2 million can get him involved.

That’s the amount he’s reportedly been offered by the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia to compete in the country’s state-sponsored European Tour event early next season.

The Saudis are up to their eyeballs in doo-doo, and that’s world-wide doo-doo after the murder of Jamal Khashoggi inside the country’s embassy last month in Istanbul.  Khashoggi was a contributing writer for the Washington Post.  He was often critical of the Saudi monarchy.

Obviously representatives of the Saudi tournament, a new stop on the European Tour, got in touch with Tiger’s guy — The Great Stiney, aka agent Mark Stineberg.  It probably didn’t take long for Stiney to have this sort of conversation:

Stiney:   “Tiger, listen, the Saudis are offering $3.2 million for you to play in that new European Tour event they’re sponsoring.”

Tiger:    “Really?  When is it?”

Stiney:   “January 31-February 3, the week after Torrey Pines.”

Tiger:   “The week after The Farmers?”

Stiney:  “Roger that Tigh.”

Tiger:   “Crap, I don’t want to fly from San Diego to Saudi Arabia.  Remember we talked about taking it a little easier this season.  Last year wore my ass out with that comeback. Besides, didn’t they murder that guy at their embassy lasts month?”

Stiney:  “I hear ‘ya Tiger. Hate to lose the $3.2 million appearance fee. And yes, they had the guy bumped off.  Don’t piss off the Saudis.”

Tiger:    “Don’t worry Stiney, I’m gonna stomp Mickelson and collect that $9 million in two weeks, I’ll pay your lost commission out of that.”

Stiney:  “Thanks Tiger, you don’t have to do that, but if you insist…”

Tiger:   “No, I insist.  That $9 million is the fastest cash we’ll ever bank.”

Stiney:  “Agreed.  It should have been $10 million but those a-holes at the commissioner’s office made them chop it by a million.”

Tiger:   “You mean Monahan (Jay) made ’em do that?”

Stiney:  “Roger that, Tigh.  You know how they are.”

Tiger:   “Yeah, but mum’s the word on that Stiney.”

Stiney:  “Yeah Tigh, mum’s the word, I never said that.”

Tiger:   “And I never heard it.”

Tiger:  “By the way, Stiney, who did they (the Saudis) sign up?”

Stiney:  “They got D.J., Reed and Casey.”

Tiger:   “Perfect.”

And just like that, Tiger excused himself from the Saudi tournament in January.  The Saudis will have to settle for the consolation prize of Dustin Johnson, Patrick Reed and Paul Casey along with the regular compliment of players from the European Tour.

As for Tiger, reports have it that he’s hard at work in Jupiter prepping for this ridiculous showdown with Mickelson the day after Thanksgiving, November 23 in Las Vegas.

Can’t you just hear this conversation between Woods and Mickelson during that upcoming match:

Phil:   “Hey Tiger, is it true you turned down $3.2 million to play in Saudi Arabia at the end of January?”

Tiger:  “Yep.”

Phil:   “Hey Tiger, could you do me a favor?”

Tiger:  “Sure.”

Phil:   “Can you ask Stiney to give my people the number of the guy over there who called.”

Tiger:  “Done.”