Phil Mickelson has gone total Diva on everyone following his face-flop in the 2018 Ryder Cup matches.
It seems that at age 48, Lefty has developed an allergy to long rough.
And that’s a problem because that’s where he spent the bulk of his time during his undistinguished efforts at the 2018 Ryder Cup matches.
Seems Lefty has taken his cue from the fat, unhappy, troubled soul that is Patrick Reed and has done nothing but whine since he got back from France.
There was more whining last week and it was appropriate perhaps because there was Lefty in “wine country” where he kept on whining.
Poor Lefty, he just doesn’t want to play on golf courses anymore that have any sort of long rough growing in the wild.
So once Phil got to “wine country” he couldn’t help himself, time for some good whining:
“I’m 48, I’m not going to play tournaments with rough like that anymore,” Mickelson said, obviously suffering from some form of PTRS — Post Traumatic Rough Syndrome.
“It’s a waste of my time. I’m going to play courses that are playable, and I can play aggressive, attacking, make lots of birdies type of golf I like to play. The fairways were 14 to 16 yards wide. The fact is they had brutal rough, almost unplayable and that’s not the way I play,” he added. “I don’t play like that.”
Phil probably had some convenient amnesia when he spoke of those “14-16 yard” fairways. Most were a lot wider than that and the sad part for Philly Mick is that he couldn’t even control his irons well enough to keep many of those shots in the fairways.
Jim Furyk has to shoulder some blame as well. He knew damn well that Lefty couldn’t find the short grass if you let him roll around on the manicured lawns of Versailles. So why in the hell did Furyk throw Mickelson into an alternate shot format where one wild partner spells total doom for the team and that was exactly the case with Lefty out there.
Phil Mickelson in alternate shot? That’s a big Hell To The No in anyone’s mind that’s ever seen Lefty holler “Fore Left” at a U.S. Open.
So now we have No Rough Lefty ready and willing to play less in 2019 and that’s probably a good thing. Haven’t we had enough of him?
Maybe while Mickelson has more time on his hands, he can get around to visiting a barber shop, something he visits about as often as he hits fairways. You look at that tangled mop hanging out the back of his cap and it’s surprising that birds haven’t started nesting in that stuff.
It’s as though Mickelson was modeling himself after Professor Snape in the Harry Potter movies.
Fortunately we won’t have to witness Lefty right after Thanksgiving when he does that Pay-Per-View nonsense with Tiger Woods in Vegas, where the only rough is the rough morning-after following a night of too much booze and too many losses at the tables.
There’s one big name who has no interest whatsoever in the Tiger-Lefty “Let’s Fleece The Suckers” post Thanksgiving match.
“Love TW and Phil to death — but there’s 0% chance I order that. I’ll be watching football.” — That was Justin Thomas on his Twitter account.
We’re with you J.T.
Zero percent we watch Long Hair Lefty vs. The Weary Woods.
Zero, absolutely zero.
It’s all about less Lefty.
And that’s a good start.